The Art of Suicide
by Valentina LaFontaine
Summary: She was a sweet butt, and nothing more than a good time. But when she kills herself in front of the entire club, their feelings are reconsidered.
1. The Suicide

_In my stories I'd like to address certain issues that are interesting and important to me. Leave a review and let me know what you think. The lyrics below are Mad World. (The Gary Jules version)._

_Thanks for reading!_

Oh by the way this is before Tara left, probably when Jax is a Prospect. 

* * *

_All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places, worn out faces  
Bright and early for their daily races  
Going nowhere, going nowhere  
Their tears are filling up their glasses  
No expression, no expression  
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow  
No tomorrow, no tomorrow  
_

* * *

The Sons stood outside of the clubhouse and watched the body move on the stretcher toward the back of an ambulance vehicle. The body of the tall woman who only a few hours ago was alive and well, was watched carefully as the body bag slowly came out of sight. It traveled from the clubhouse and around the corner from their view. The sound of crying from the few sweet butts who knew her fairly well could be heard from every point of the clubhouse no matter where one stood.

Cigarette smoke exhaled from the lungs of the witnesses to the death. The smoke formed into a uneven cloud and eventually disappeared into the thin air. The weather was sunny and warm, but the atmosphere rang a completely different tone.

Jax didn't know her that well, but he still felt the pain of the others who were crying. All of them had to watch their friend die. The light in her green eyes slowly faded into nothing but a pale corpse with a large sized hole in her head. He wondered if she had parents or even one family member who would be sad about her death. He knew if he had been in the same position he would have to have a large building for his funeral, but what was she?

A daughter?

A sister?

A aunt?

Or a simple nothing?

He noticed Tara sitting by herself on the cold pavement, crying her eyes out. He didn't know the girl but she might as well have by the way she was crying. Tara had lived a somewhat shelter life but she had never seen death like he had. A few years ago she had watched her favorite cat die as the vet put it to sleep, but she had never seen someone do that to themselves. He looked at the others who seemed more shocked than sad. Gemma and Tig however out of the rest of the club members looked calmest. He was almost angry at them for not showing any sort of emotion. Tig especially, he knew what she was capable of. He was the one who caused her to do that the first time. However he didn't seem so remorseful then either.

He heard the sound of a thud hit the ground. The gaze of the club turned to the sweet butt laying on the ground. At first he was worried that someone else had died but judging from her chest falling up and down he knew she was alive. He didn't think he could take too much sorrow in one day. She had only fainted. Chibs helped the other girls pick her up and he carried her back into the clubhouse.

"So whose going to clean up that mess?" Tig asked with no hint of strained calmness within him. Jax turned around on his heel and made his way inside. He needed to be alone he couldn't handle being around any of them. He knew he would have to walk past the blood stains she had left behind. As he walked through the clubhouse he kept his eyes straight and away from the large red blob by the bar.


	2. Edie

_Thanks so much for all the reviews guys. You are the best. But you'll make me happier if you review this one okay? Much love. _

_Val._

* * *

Edie finally had her chance. The gun was in her hands but she couldn't bear to hold it. Her eyes were burning with tears and her hands were shaking so badly her rings hit against the barrel of the gun to make a clicking noise. She knew she had to do it. If she didn't do it now she would have to live another day in absolute misery. She stared at the gun and placed it to her temple but she didn't have the guts to pull the trigger. She put the gun down by her side but squeezed the barrel tightly.

_'This is permanent solution.'_ she thought, as she stared at the gun. _'Maybe I could just leave.' _She shook her head. This would be impossible. _'Where would I go? What would I do? I got no education, family, friends, nothing.' _She sniffed and nodded her head. _'No it has to be done. No turning back.'_

She could no longer stand the constant pain, the humiliation, the waiting for someone to take her out of the life she had led for the longest time. She couldn't live through it. She had been feeling this way even before she even knew the club. Now was the time to leave.

Before she did so, she wanted to look around the clubhouse. She wanted to say good bye before she decided to leave them all behind. As she walked out of one of the guys rooms, leaving the door completely open and walked to the bar. Everyone was laughing, and having a good time. She so wanted to be there with them, happily dancing, talking, drinking. Just to be happy.

Her gaze turned to Gemma who was talking to another old lady. She turned away quickly to make sure she didn't see Edie staring or else it would've been hell to pay. Her eyes were always cast down toward the self proclaimed 'Queen of Charming'. Her attention turned to her only real friend Delia. Delia could always get the boys, she was always smiling and happy. Sometimes she wanted to be like Delia, she even pretended to walk, talk and even flirt like she did but it never worked.

_'Goodbye.'_ she replied in her thoughts. Her watery eyes turned to Tig. Her face stiffened as she tried to cover up the hurt that what he did to her. He always hurt her but she was too blind to see it any other way. She was in trance staring at him as he flirted with some other sweet butt who was twice Edie's bra size. She didn't break the stare until she heard a voice says. "Edie?"

She turned around and saw Delia who was making her way towards her. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" When she was close enough to see the gun in her hands. She looked at the gun and slowly looked up at Edie.

"Whatever it is, darling." She said. "We can work it through. Just put down the gun-."

"Delia." Edie said. "It's okay. Get back someone could get hurt." Her voice was still almost robotic. Now she really couldn't live. Delia would be forever happy with her life. Now she knew she couldn't live. Soon the whole club was dead silent. Their attention turned to her. Edie's eyes started to tear up and so did Delia's who tried to make her way to her but Edie took a step back. Jax stood up slowly and tried to make his way slowly to her.

"Edie? C'mon just put the gun down." he said

Edie closed her eyes and sniffed. She tried to place herself out of the situation and focus on what must be done. She opened her eyes and looked at Tig who stared perplexed that her. "You hate me?" Edie asked to him.

Tig's eyes went from one point of the room to the other. Edie waited for an answer but he didn't give one. He just shrugged. "I know you do." Edie said. She cocked the gun. "Sorry for the mess." She placed the cold metal in her mouth and let loose a small tear and pulled the trigger. Her body flew back into the wall and fell into a crumpled mess on the floor. No one moved except for Delia who fell to the ground crying and screaming.

Blood, tissue, and pieces of her brain were splattered all over the wall and across the bar. No one moved in disbelief. Edie's thin pale body was still, not even a twitch. Everyone knew she was dead. Jax screamed at the almost wax figured club mates. "Call a ambulance now!"

Nothing could change the fact that Edie was dead.


	3. Gemma

_Thanks so much for all the reviews guys. I'm going to show a view pov's about Edie and the effects of the death. Hope you enjoy. :D_

* * *

Gemma wasn't surprised that Edie had finally taken her own life. She was more surprised the girl had shot herself in front of everyone. Gemma figured she just simply wanted attention. She wasn't strong enough to take what came with the sweet butt life. The girl was a freak, close to insane and above all very easy to intimidate. Gemma would play games on how easily she could make her jump. Edie very rarely made eye contact with her, but unlike the other sweet butts she barely had anything to say. Not even a hello.

It was very disrespect to her. She was after all the President's Old Lady which meant Edie was beneath her.

Gemma was aware for the longest time Edie had a thing for Tig. She would follow him around and she would watch in amusement as she carried his stuff give him his beers, even hand him the remote when he was sitting right next to it. It was almost a game to watch how far he would go.

It was also fun to see her cower whenever Gemma tried to pick on her for something small. Like not saying 'Hello' to her or her son. The only time she had seen the soft spoken girl say anything above a little murmur was when Gemma called her a "smart ass bitch" to her face. Something triggered in her head and she started to yell and scream curses at her. She even threw her persciption bottle at her direction. It would have hit her too if she hadn't ducked. Kyle Hobart was hit in the face with it. She suffered for it later.

Edie would walk around with her head down and her shoulders tight together. Like she was waiting for someone to punch her. She never spoke to someone first she always waited for someone to go to her. Gemma remembered the day that Tig hit on her. She had never heard Edie say more than two words at a time but she heard her start talking.

However also knowing Tig, she knew that it was only a matter of time before he dumped her.

When Edie's body flew back and hit the wall, sending blood and brains everywhere Gemma wasn't horrified. She had seen much worse "What a idiot." Gemma said as Delia overcame her hysteria and rushed toward Edie's dead body. Jax only dragged her back to spare her rolling in the bloody mess. Gemma walked outside, distancing herself from the chaos that Edie had caused. She needed to have a cigarette. Luanne followed behind her, lighting her cigarette as well. "Shit." Luanne said pointing with her well polished thumb at the clubhouse. "What the hell was that?"

Gemma shrugged. "The little bitch made a lasting impression."

"Jesus Christ." Luanne muttered taking a long drag from her cigarette. "Why the hell did she blow her fucking brains out? What is she, nuts?"

Gemma exhaled sharply and scratched her head. She looked back inside the clubhouse and saw Chibs and Jax holding a crying Delia back. She was kicking, screaming and crying. "Yes." she finally replied.

Gemma didn't go back inside or even checked back in to see what was going on. As far as she was concerned she wasn't involved. When the ambulance came she was standing at the front of the clubhouse. waiting for them as the body bag rolled out. Tig walked over to Gemma and stood next to her watching the ambulance leave.

"Shit." Tig said.

"Yep." Gemma replied turning to him with one hand clasped on the other. "You okay?"

"Yep." he said. They both stood in the same spot, watching the ambulance disappear. Gemma looked at Delia who was still making a fuss about Edie's death. She was more concerned about two things. How was Jax taking this, and who was going to clean up the mess. She turned back to Tig but looked around for something interesting to stare at. Anything to distract her from Delia'screaming and giving her a massive migrane.

"I hope this doesn't mess with Jax's head."

Tig's face seemed horribly apathetic to Jax's mental state. Between fiddling with his wallet chain, and taking out a cigarette. "Yeah." he replied lighting up his cigarette.

"You think he'll be okay?" Gemma asked him. Tig shrugged. "He should. Give it a couple of hours just to get over it."

"Alright." Gemma said nodding and sighed. There was a brief minute of total silence when Delia fainted on the grass and was carried away by Chibs. Tig exhaled smoke and said loud enough for everyone else to hear. "So whose going to clean up the mess?"

Jax took one look at him, stood up and walked back into the clubhouse. Gemma wanted to go back after him and offer her son some comfort that there was nothing he could do to save the crazy bitch, but she knew him. He didn't want her to say a word.


End file.
